The Irish Tales

　
There is no Chapter Thirteen because it’s bad luck.
So let’s skip straight to Chapter Fourteen.
　
Chapter Fourteen
　
"Come on Patsy ! Let’s go !" yelled Jay excitedly. But Patsy simply yawned, stretched and slurped down some water from the trough.

"What’s your hurry,?" she asked languidly.
"But…there’s a monster to be found !" replied Jay. For the life of her, she couldn’t understand why Patsy wasn’t champing at the bit.

"Oh, I can see the monster right now," replied Patsy. "It’s under that trailer over there."
Jay looked where Patsy was pointing and sure enough, under a large blue trailer sat a large green monster, sweating and showing its teeth. (Which were in very bad condition, I have to say.)

"Well then…let’s get it !"
"No hurry," said Patsy. "Nobody else except us stands a chance. Let them all tire themselves out, then we’ll step in with a grand flourish !"

And so it was that Jay and Patsy stretched out on the grass and drank ginger beer and ate delicious home-made fudge, (well Jay did – Patsy just snoozed) whilst all the other riders and their ponies got all hot and bothered and irritable looking for something they couldn’t really see.

Eventually, Patsy got to her feet, scratched her bum, burped loudly, then said, "Up you get then, it’s cake-mix time !"
With Jay on board, she walked slowly towards the monster, who was gibbering and prancing with joy by the horse box, convinced it was safe from being caught.

Until it saw Patsy advancing steadily towards it.
"Ooooooopsodaisy !" it cried and tried to waddle away on it’s fat, ungainly legs. To no avail, for in a two large strides, Patsy was upon it.

"Over to you, fledgling," she cried. "And by the way, now is no time to tell me you don’t know the first verse to Dancing Queen."
Jay merely smiled and yelled, " YOU ARE CAKE MIX !" and with a flash and a small bang, the monster turned into a large, juicy fairy cake with a nice slice of cherry on top.

With a whoop and grin, Jay leant down and scooped it up and then, after a deep breath, sang as follows : "Friday night and the lights are low,Looking out for the place to go, where they play the right music, getting in the swing, you come in to look for a king….."

Grinning broadly from ear to ear, Jay and Patsy made their way towards the tent of the Clerk of The Show, watched by the stunned audience.

"Anybody could be that guy, night is young and the music’s high….." sang Jay as she presented the fairy cake to the The Clerk, who tutted a bit and raised her eyebrows.

"What is this ?" she asked imperiously. Jay grinned at her.
"The Monster, !" she answered and sang on : "With a bit of rock music, everything is fine, you’re in the mood for a dance. And when you get the chance.….."

The Clerk frowned. "But..this is a fairy cake, not a monster."
Jay blinked at her, whilst Patsy snorted in with laughter.

"It WAS a monster, now it’s a fairy cake, dash it all," replied Jay.
"Well…harummph…er..I don’t know…I don’t know," said The Clerk. "I really don’t think I can award you Best in Show for a simple cake, you know."

Patsy snickered and moved closer to the Clerk.
"A simple cake, you say ? But The Best Cake in Show, is it not ?"
And she fluttered her eyelashes and gave the kind of cheesy, adorable grin that only a Scaremonster can.

"Oh, well…since you put it that way," the Clerk fluttered.

The watching crowd cheered and shouted "Huzzah for the Scaremonster and her little rider !"

The little rider scowled at this, but before she could say anything silly, the Clerk of the Show pinned Best in Show rosettes onto Patsy and Jay, ginger beers were raised in a toast all round and some people even went so far as to eat large ice-cream cones in celebration.

How yummy is that ?

Later, much later, as Jay watched a very tired Patsy climb slowly up into the attic, she said sleepily : "Patsy ?"

"Yes,?" responded the Scaremonster.
"Are you a Dancing Queen ?" giggled Jay.

Patsy grunted. "Go to sleep, fledgling."
And you know what ?

Jay did.
As indeed should we.
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