The Irish Tales

Chapter Eleven
(Best in Show.)
　
Days come and days pass, but sometimes, the nights go on for ever.
Especially if you are little and young, or even large and old, but it is the former of which we talk now.
The Oldies can look after themselves.

Under Patsy’s tuition, Jay had learned to deal very handily with most monster-ish appearances in her sock-draw.
Many was the time she awoke for no good reason to find something dark and ugly baring its teeth at her, something which would once have terrified the socks off her. (Do you see what I did there ?)

Now, she merely yawned and drawled, "YOU ARE CAKE MIX !" and with a flash and a small bang, a lovely fairy cake would appear on her bedside table.

Oddly, her parents never ever asked about the mysterious appearance of such cakes.
Jay decided that this must be because they were actually much cleverer than they looked. Either that, or much dafter ; she never quite worked out which.

However, you must not suppose that Scaremonsters are only any good for scaring monsters.
Oh my Gracious, no. Not only are they the bestest friend a fledgling can have, they can also help out in any number of extraordinarily useful ways.

As I may have already mentioned, Scaremonsters sleep during the day and come out only at night to look after their fledglings and go for occasional nightime adventures, if the moon is full and the bats are squeaking.

However, all rules are made to be broken, if it is in a good cause and if there’s an X in the month and on two separate occasions, Patsy did just that and appeared, with Jay, in daylight and in public.

And it is about the first of these of which I shall now speak.

T’was the night before the local Pony Club Show, a glorious event which always took place on a gloriously sunny summer day, where children and ponies and old men who should know better would skylark around the meadows ; jumping their ponies, showing their ponies, racing their ponies and more often than not, falling off their ponies, to the great delight of all who watched……

…watched and ate hot dogs and quails eggs, lashed down with plenty of ginger beer and normal beer and sometimes the odd, very odd, glass of Pimms.

Anyhoo, on such a day, Jay was due to ride her pony, Gypsy, in most of the events, with half an eye on winning Best In Show.
As Gypsy was a true christian* and Jay not a bad rider, this was a distinct possibility – until Jay went to the stables that evening and found Gypsy well and truly lame on her off-fore.

You may imagine the gloom and doom with which Jay related the news to Patsy.

"It’s…the one show where I can hope to do well and not be outshone by all those "rich girls" with super-ponies that their dads buy for them. I know that sounds like sour grapes, but,well…it is..I suppose.." and she snuffled into her raggy.

Patsy thought for a moment whilst guzzling litres of tap-water.
After a small burp, then a much bigger one, she said, "Well, you could ride me, I guess…."

Jay look at her in amazement.
"But you’re not a horse.Or pony."

Patsy raised an eyebrow. "What makes me not a horse. Or pony ?"
"Um…you have six legs." said Jay.
"And where in the rules does it say that a pony or horse may not have six legs ?"

Jay mused on this for a while.
"Nowhere I guess……" she said, sounding a little doubtful.
Patsy grinned fiercely.

"Then shall we do it, O fledgling of mine ?"
Jay grinned back equally fiercely.

"Let’s sleep on it ! But….YES !
And so they did. Sleep on it, I mean.

　
* A "true christian" in horse terms, means a genuine, honest and talented horse or pony.

　
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