The Irish Tales

Chapter 2.


Where were we ? Oh, yes. Jay and Patsy had just met for the first time.
Ah, what I would have given to have been there, as a fly on the wall.
(Although Patsy would have seen me immediately and swatted me out of existence.)

All that I tell you now comes from the lips of Jay herself and the few fragments of memory which an old man such as I retain, after all these years.
Anyhoo… to continue.

There was Jay, snuggling her raggy and there was Patsy, guzzling on tapwater and relating her adventures, when all of a sudden, she stopped in full flow and glowered furiously at the sock drawer.
"COME OUT !" she bellowed. Jay flinched and stared at the sock drawer with curiosity.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then, the drawer began to rock slightly and a strange mewling sound could be heard.

Patsy stood up to her full height. (Her full height, that is, in a small little girl’s bedroom, not her REAL full height, you understand.)
"BY THE LIGHTS OF LIONEL AND THE HOUNDS OF THE BERKELEY ! I COMMAND THEE TO COME OUT !" roared Patsy, in a voice so loud that, by rights, Jay’s parents should have woke screaming from their beds, but somehow, they didn’t, thankfully. Drunk, no doubt.

And then, to Jay’s amazement, the drawer shot open and a green thing with wings flew out, sweat dripping from its brow and disappeared through the open window, like Charlie with a full pack on his heels.

Jay was, to coin a phrase, smacked in the gob.
"What was – " she began, but Patsy was there before her.

"Fledgling monster, probably from the Forest of Green, nowt to be concerned about. Been hiding in your sock drawer for a while, I’d say. Waiting to come to fruition."

Patsy yawned, Jay looked puzzled. For a while, she snuggled her raggy.
Then : " Where is the Forest of Green ? What is a fledgling ? Why was it in my sock drawer ? Why didn’t my parents wake up just then when you screamed ? Are they drunk again ?"

Patsy scratched her bum, (an appalling Scaremonster habit) and looked quizzically at Jay.
"Which question do you want answered first ?"
Jay didn’t pause.
"Are they drunk again ?" she asked.
Patsy paused.
"They are simply worn out with worry. Worry about paying the mortgage, worry about feeding you all, worry about the way the world is and worry about how they should bring you up properly."
"Ah, good.." said Jay.
"Also, they’re drunk again, " continued Patsy. "Next question ?"

Jay didn’t hesitate.
"Where is the Forest of Green, what is a fledgling, why was it in my sock drawer ?"
Patsy beamed, in the way one does when all the right questions have been asked.

"The Forest of Green is not too far away and all the answers you seek are there. Want to come …?"
Now…what do you think Jay said to that ?
I see your eyes closing. Shall we speak again tomorrow ?
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