Woods

All I had to do was depress the mouse button once and what did I do? I hovered, finding things to distract me whilst all the while the email sat there, daring me to send it.

Weird isn't it how we become creatures of habit so easily?

I really used to enjoy my job, then recently I realised that the job as it was, has been gone for a long time. I found myself stuck in a routine with no rewards or goals and I had to ask myself why? Like a comfy pair of slippers which have moulded to the shape of your feet, or the leather office chair which still has the imprint of your arse in it when you stand up, it's easy to get so cosy in a role that you forgot why you ever did it in the first place. You're just taking the money and running.

Now this may seem like a sensible thing to do, but the problem is that if you're not careful one day someone will come along and point out that they don't actually need you to be doing what you're doing and thanks for everything but goodbye.

So I did something so out of character for me I suprised even myself. I got up off my arse (leaving an imprint of it in the leather chair behind my desk) and went to do something about it. Now I've never been particularly confident in myself and I've never had much of a voice about things. I'm generally happy to hide in amongst the throngs and let them do the shouting and getting people to look at them, whilst I just get on with it and blend into the background. So imagine my surprise when I found myself sitting in front of the MD telling him exactly what I though of the situation I was in and asking what he could do to help.

To cut a long story short(er) after further meetings with 2 other directors a role appeared for which I appear to be eligible, which is how I came to find myself hovering over that 'Send' button. How odd to think that I deliberated and delayed extended that index finder, when I knew full well that I wasn't happy or secure where I was and that it was the right thing to do. For the first time in a long while I felt those butterflies, a mix of nerves and excitement about what would transpire once the server delivered these 3 lines of text.

It's not an amazing job, some may see it as a step down from what I currently do, but I realised there and then that the challenge gave me a buzz. The idea of something new, the anticipation of a complete change of role makes me realise I should have done this a long time ago.

It's not groundbreaking and it's probably something simple for most people, but to me it represented a big change.

So I clicked, starting the wheels in motion for something that could turn out to be the best or worst move I ever made in my working life, unfortunately only time will tell!

Oooooh - butterflies again.